Fear & Fever
We’re back, baby!
The biggest piece of news, (if you take nothing else away from this post, please do take this) is that Then Came the Thunder, my first book, is now available for preorder! Click here!
In behind the scenes news, here’s the truth. I haven’t written in a while. As I’ve mentioned before, writing is not my full-time gig. Also, I recently moved to a new home, so much of my time has been spent on getting the house set up. Equally important, yes, but sometimes it’s hard to see time I do anything else AS anything else but “time I’m not writing.” That’s when the jealousy kicks in.
That’s not the only reason, though. With Then Came the Thunder almost out in the world, it means I need to rewind myself and begin the Long Work on Book 2 of the Three Willows series. Which I haven’t done since I finished its initial draft. There are so many things I love about Book 2, it introduces characters and ideas that really influence everyone’s arcs. But there are parts of it that aren’t working as well as they could. And I’ve been pretty reluctant to face it.
A piece of writing advice you hear pretty often is “don’t worry about your first draft, your first draft can suck.” We’re encouraged to think that edits only make things better. Some writers will even throw first drafts out completely and start from scratch. I get the logic, and yes, revision and edits often do improve a story, but I worry that some people hear that advice, and are afraid to think anything they write is good enough on a first go.
I try to exist someplace in the middle. With Book 2, there are certainly some scenes I have no intention of changing, and the narrative flow is ironed out well enough that I feel strong enough to stand by that decision. But that leaves me with the parts that aren’t working, and it just feels like I’m sticking my hand into a box of jigsaw pieces and stirring until something happens. And not being able to figure out problems that exist within something I made up, to be honest, frightens me a little. Almost like, what hope is there for me in the Real World if I can’t even fix Book World? It seems silly typed out…
On the flipside of the Fear is the Fever. I had an epiphany click into place on my drive into work this morning, spurring me to immediately make a bunch of near-indecipherable notes once I got to my desk. From that one change will come a huge amount of ripples that are going to be both better for the story, but more painful to write and wrangle and make sure sense is being made. It came out in a frenzy that left my skin crawling and my eyes a little unfocused and filled with absolutely no other desire than to run home and write. Which, of course, was not an option. Lately, the Fever has been building up each week. I know myself well enough to know that I just don’t have the time or ability to write during the week, but I do allow myself to plan and outline. Sometimes it works in my favor, other times, it can still feel like too much.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that the return of Fear & Fever means I’m starting to swing back towards feeling ready to write again, and if my brain is in problem solving mode, then that’s also a good sign. A part of my personal mental health plan is making sure I take note of these cycles and continue working to balance them. Also, I could probably stand to pay more attention while driving. Just to be safe. I have no idea if this is a relatable feeling to anyone out there, but all I can do is describe as best as I’m able.
One of the central characters of the Three Willows series is a rambunctious bookworm named Lilah Templeton, who I”m very excited for y’all to meet. The moment I heard this song, I knew it was undoubtedly her theme. I think I need to harness a little of that spirit now. Godspeed.
