Act. React. Repeat.

Let’s get right to the point. I. Love. Dialogue.

My YouTube page is often flooded with writing-related or bookish videos, and a lot of the time, I tend to steer clear. You see lots of stuff like “NEVER MAKE THESE MISTAKES AS AN INDIE WRITER” or “TROPES EVERYONE HATES. NO QUESTIONS ASKED.” And that turns me off a little bit. Yes, writing is a craft, and yes, there are some things that are more generally disliked than others, and yes, if you’re writing for market, you do need to be up on current reader trends. But I think every writer has an equal chance as any other at making something work for their story. Even a dream sequence. Even a scene where a character looks at themself in a mirror. Anything.

Look at me, I’m already digressing. My point is, I don’t click negative leaning writing videos, but I DO click more positive ones. Especially if there’s an Arcane thumbnail. I’m a simple lass.

I highly recommend giving this one a watch. If you don’t have 20 minutes, just watch 1:47 - 8:42.

I really love this notion of the filter, and the part it plays in keeping conversations sounding realistic. Because in life, we don’t say everything on our mind, or often how we really feel. We don’t exposit. But as readers and writers, we know that our characters will have to do those things for the sake of story progression. But characters’ filters are where the tension lives, the characterization lives. I absolutely love the exercise shown in the video of listing out a scene’s necessary info, and then incorporating all of it into the dialogue alone. That’s a very similar approach to how I wrote when I was first starting out, and honestly? I might go back to it to tighten up some of my WIP’s scenes.

I wanted to use the video’s exercise and take a look at one of the scenes from Then Came the Night and try to break it down. Also, I just like this scene. ;)

The Scene’s function

This scene is near the end of Night and kicks off the last leg of the plot. Narratively, the thing that needs to happen in the scene is Roger comes clean about his behind-the-scenes actions over the course of the last few nights. He’s been hiding it from the others for a very selfish, very dangerous reason and has dug himself in very deep, but also believes he’s close to a breakthrough. So the question is, what will be enough to make him confess?

how would this character in this situation communicate this information?

The key question. The players in this scene are:

• Roger Shaw: Town reverend, overall nervous demeanor, currently operating on very little sleep.

  • Needs: To keep his secret.

  • Filter: Respect for Jessalyn and their friendship.

• Jessalyn Joy: Schoolteacher and heroine of the trilogy, possibly hitting her lowest point.

  • Needs: Answers and a plan

  • Filter: Jessalyn usually operates with a strong filter of societal courtesy and her own self-doubt and poor self-image, but that filter is crumbling under the weight of her current distress.

Scene analysis

(Jessalyn enters Roger’s quarters unexpectedly and sees his conspiracy/research board)

J: “Roger.” 

R: (startled) “Miss Joy! I…what are you doing here?”

J: “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What is all this?”

R: “My, eh, research is vast. My office was no longer big enough. So, I moved here, to the walls!” (pause) “It’s actually quite convenient. But, I must ask again, what are you doing here? How is…how is Samuel?”

J: (avoids eye contact) “Patrick and I were able to get him home. He’s not moving, he’s hardly breathing. His eyes are wide open, though. Staring straight ahead. And…and I don’t think he can hear me. And I don’t know what to do. It’s torture, Roger.”

R: “Miss Joy. I am so sorry.” 

J: “There’s nothing for you to apologize for.” 

Jessalyn excels at taking care of Roger, but with the tables turned, he isn’t sure what to do. He considers her his best friend and has a strong desire to comfort her, but refrains form a hug or other encouraging gesture for a few reasons. Physical contact is too intimate for him. Roger knows Jessalyn’s heart belongs to Samuel, who is currently in critical condition, and the best way to comfort her would be to fix all this, but he can’t do that with her here. But he can’t ask her to leave, he has to show her somehow that he cares, so he manages the bare minimum sentimental apology.

Jessalyn didn’t come here for that. She came here for action. So she pushes forward. Roger has to refuse, or reveal the whole truth, which will surely upset her more. 

J: “So, I knew I had to come see you straight away. To help.”

R: “That is most kind of you, Miss Joy, but, I’m really—”

J: “Put me to work. What can I do? Read something? Take notes? Where should I start?”

R: “Please, if you could not—”

J: (reads the contents of the board) “What is this, Roger?”

R: “I’m—”

J: “These are parts of the Bordeaux documents. Why are you looking at these?”

R: “I’m not sure if I can properly explain.”

J: (insistent) “Why are you still looking at these, Roger? These have nothing to do with our current situation!”

R: “That may not be entirely—”

J: (furious) “Roger! Have you been doing nothing to help us with Zedekiah? This whole time!?” 

R: (fear-stricken) “No! Like I said! It’s more complicated than that!” 

J: “Complicated? Complicated how? How could any of this get more complicated? Explain it to me.”

R: “Miss Joy, I really don’t think—”

Seeing Roger’s unrelated notes is the spark that ignites Jessalyn’s powder keg. Her own feelings of helplessness come to the surface and her anger spikes. She would never speak to Roger like this under normal circumstances, but the current circumstances are anything but. Roger is a person who needs time to process his thoughts and form the right words, but Jessalyn refuses to let him speak here. She doesn’t want the long-winded explanation, she wants answers now, and Roger can’t provide that. So he can’t stop her rage from spiraling. His panic upon seeing her out of control and jumping to conclusions only makes it harder for him to speak. 

J: “What? Am I too stupid? Maybe I haven’t read as many fairy tales as you, Roger, but I’ve been through just as much of this goddamn mystical bullshit as you have, as any of us, and you’re gonna stand there and tell me I can’t hack it? What should I do, then? Hm? Stay home? Give up, like everyone seems to want me to?”

R: “Of course not, but—”

J: “I’m not weak, Roger!” 

R: (yelling) “It has to be me!” (pause for breath) “You…you know how much I value our friendship. I would do anything for you. I truly hope you know that, Miss Joy. But, and I mean every word of this, you absolutely cannot help me.” 

Jessalyn is talking more to herself here than to Roger. She’s giving voice to things she thinks about herself. She feels like she’s being doubted at every turn and constantly forced to prove herself TO herself, not to mention her friends, town, and society. 

Roger is out of options for stopping Jessalyn’s rampage, and has to raise his voice, even knowing that he can only give her a partial truth, and that will surely not satisfy her. He tries to pledge himself once again, hoping that will be enough to assure her, but doubting it deep down. 

The full scene in the book does read differently, as it’s told from Roger’s perspective, so the reader does get to see his inner thoughts and feelings throughout, but I do really enjoy just the stripped down argument. I love writing stammers, interruptions, pauses for breath, change of expression, or eyerolls. Body language. Describing where a character is looking, or NOT looking. I love providing props for characters to work with within the scene. By the end of the Three Willows trilogy, I no longer need to explain how Jessalyn feels if she’s spinning her wedding ring, the reader is well aware. 

I’m trying to think of the best way to apply this kind of close reading to the drafting stage when many of the pieces of scenes haven’t been developed yet, but I think what I can work with right now is dialogue. To remember ‘yes, and...,’ to remember filters, and that every spoken word matters. Let’s see what comes of it.